I Don’t Want To Care For My Elderly Parents

I Don’t Want To Care For My Elderly Parents

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Relationships can be complicated, particularly when adult children are responsible for aging parents if there’s tension, geographical constraints, or not enough time. If you’re thinking, “I don’t want to care for my elderly parents,” that’s okay. You can protect your peace without taking on the strain of day-to-day care interactions. 

In this article, we will discuss why you might be unable or unwilling to care for your aging parent and your options for support. 

At Charter Home Health, we provide compassionate caregivers who can step in to assist your elderly parents in the comfort of their own home. Our caregivers can do everything from preparing meals to getting dressed, bathing, and exercising. 

Let us help you create the best care environment that preserves your sense of well-being and relieves you of the caregiving responsibilities for your parents. Contact us at Charter Home Health today. 

Reasons Might Prevent You From Caring For Your Parents

Everyone’s relationship with their parents is different. Some people are navigating stubborn elderly parents who refuse care, and others may be trying to navigate a strained or traumatic parent-child relationship. Life is complex, and you shouldn’t feel guilty if you’re unable or unwilling to care for your elderly parent.

Parent Refuses Help

Elderly parents can refuse help for several reasons. They may be struggling to accept the realities of aging, worried about losing their sense of independence, or have memory issues that make understanding their choices difficult. Caregivers can help make the transition to in-home care easier, getting to know your parents and establishing a relationship of trust.

Financial Problems

When you’re trying to pay your own bills, support your own children, or are on a tight budget, caring for your aging parents can be financially out of the question. You may not have the time or energy to take on another job to be able to afford to care for them yourself. Sometimes that’s the reality, and you shouldn’t feel guilty while you’re trying to juggle all of your current responsibilities. 

Past Abuse From Your Parent

If you’ve endured abuse from your parents in the past, you may have complex feelings when it comes to shouldering the burden of their care. You shouldn’t have to face your abuser if you don’t want to, which is why in-home care can be a powerful resource that allows you to preserve your mental health. 

Emotional or Physical Health Problems

If you are dealing with mental health issues or physical health problems, caring for another person can seem overwhelming or even impossible. You deserve time and space to heal. At Charter Home Health, our caregivers will prioritize your parent’s needs and keep you in the loop so you can focus on yourself. 

Time Restrictions

Attending to your own responsibilities, from work to children to your own well-being, can sometimes take up most of your available time. If you’re low on energy and pressed for time, it’s unlikely you’re going to be able to adequately care for your parents. Our caregivers will be there to support your parents so that you can attend to your busy schedule.

Location Restrictions

Living far away from your parents can be difficult when it comes to providing care. You may have your own responsibilities you need to take care of, and continuous travel may be out of the question. Charter Home Health’s caregivers are vetted and reliable, allowing you to establish a quality plan of care that meets your parent’s needs from afar.

Am I Obligated To Take Care Of My Aging Parents?

There are 30 states within the US that have filial responsibility laws stating that adult children have a legal responsibility to care for their impoverished parents when they are no longer able to do so themselves. 

These laws typically take effect only if your parents receive financial support from the government or if they are unable to pay their nursing home or hospital bills. To avoid potential legal ramifications, having a care plan in mind for your parents ahead of time is key. In-home care is a great option because it’s often the most flexible and cost-effective. 

What To Do If You Can’t Care For Your Parents?

If you can’t care for your parents, there are other care options for your elderly parents. You can hire a caregiver for help, consider a nursing home or assisted living facility, ask family for support, and explore your legal options and state resources. 

Hiring A Caregiver For Help

If you’re unable to care for your parents yourself, contacting an in-home care agency can help put your mind at ease. These services are often more flexible and personalized to fit the needs of your parents, from personal care like dressing and bathing to companionship care, which offers a friendly face to accompany your parents throughout their day. 

Begin by assessing your parents’ needs and how an in-home caregiver might help. What are you currently doing to help your parents? What needs to be done? Do your parents require specialized care? What resources are needed to adequately care for your parents?

Considering A Nursing Home or Assisted Living

If living at home is no longer an option for your parents, you can look into nursing home care. On average, nursing homes can cost up to $90,000 a year, which is about $7,500 a month. This service requires a larger budget but can be an effective way to ensure your parents have all of the necessary amenities available to them.

Nursing homes can provide opportunities for group socialization, exercise classes, nutrition support, and other benefits that can put their loved one’s at ease. That said, nursing homes don’t necessarily provide a sense of independence, and their caregivers are often responsible for multiple guests at one time. 

Asking Family Members For Help

You are a person with needs too. Don’t burn yourself out trying to juggle all of your responsibilities and care for your elderly parents alone. Seek out support – maybe that’s a close friend or other family members. 

With support from friends and family, you can delegate the caregiving tasks across a larger group to bring yourself some relief. Additionally, caregivers who are familiar to your parents may make receiving care a bit easier since a relationship has already been established. 

Legal Options

While filial responsibility laws do exist in 30 states, you may not be obligated to pay for your parents if you have extenuating circumstances. If, for example, you’re already paying a significant amount to support your own child, have limited income, or if your parent has a history of abusing you, courts are unlikely to hold you responsible. 

State Resources For Low-Income Parents

If your parents have low income, they may qualify for certain state-sponsored benefits and programs. These benefits vary by state, but New Jersey offers the JACC program, which offers assistance for community caregiving for people over 60. 

Pennsylvania also has a Caregiver Support Program that aims to make things easier for a primary caregiver, from financial reimbursement to respite care. These programs are great resources for those who want to provide care for their parents but need financial or in-person assistance. 

Let The Caregivers At Charter Home Health Care For Your Parents

At Charter Home Health, our mission is to make caring for your elderly parents less of an emotional, financial, and physical burden so that you can maintain your peace of mind. Our experienced caregivers are fully insured and thoroughly vetted so that you can rest assured your parents will receive compassionate and respectful quality care. 

Put your mind at ease with the help of one of our caregivers. Contact us at Charter Home Health today.  

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